If you are reading this, thank you. Thank you for taking that extra moment to click the link and arrive at these words. Thank you for your support; because even clicking the link offers me a kind of energetic support in this new realm of existence I’ve found myself in, one that is less controlled, more vulnerable, and moving at a slower pace.
I get feedback all the time that I am seen as an open, adventurous and vulnerable person already. But let me assure you, my life has been dominated by fear and rigidity. I’ve been trying to break down walls as long as I can remember, while sometimes clinging to them desperately as the only form of safety I’ve known.
Maybe this is familiar? It is certainly a function of capitalism, of patriarchy, of empire, to hold us each accountable to some impossible standard, to have us believe we must be perfect, we must have the right answer, we must know what we’re doing. Timothy Morton, in the book Dark Ecology, names this structure agrilogistics. He theorizes that when humans began to practice a certain kind of agriculture*, we came out of a magical, somewhat timeless engagement with the world and began to create dichotomies. If this food is mine, it is not yours. If it is mine, there must be a me to own it. If it is mine and not yours, someone must protect it from theft. Etc. It goes deeper than the institutions created in support of ownership. It is embedded in the very way we think and see the world. Daniel Quinn covered similar ground in the Ishmael trilogy.
It’s a compelling theory, and I’m probably not doing it justice. Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not. I don’t know when or why this control mechanism came into the world. I’m practicing not knowing things, lately.
This blog feels necessary to me. I have a website where I’ll be sharing more structured thoughts on astrology, divination, and magick, but I need to connect with people in a more personal way, through writing. I want a place to share my thoughts, the books I’m reading, the theories and knowledge that come my way. I’m a knowledge sponge and I’ve come to realize that the flow needs to come towards me, through me and out the other side or it feels blocked.
I want a place to check in with the world. I want a place to practice truth-telling, openness and acceptance of myself as a small part of the world. I am inspired by people who write books, blogs or social media posts that are real, that are messy, that are humble and fierce and come from their core. I want to stop suppressing my need to share myself in this way, also.
So, here we are. I’m hoping to post about once a week. I will check in about all the things that are going on in my sphere, such as
Self-employment as an anti-capitalist within capitalism
Working as a non-hierarchical teacher, counselor, healer
Ancestral Lineage Healing with rain croweand Daniel Foor
Writing outside the structures of publication
Magick and spirituality
Unlearning white supremacy
Sewing and Creating
Living in a tiny space
An upcoming cross-country move with my tiny house
Relationships and the joys and difficulties of intimacy with other humans
Thank you for going on this journey with me. I love you.
*(forgive me for not knowing the specifics behind this theory, it has been awhile since I read the book, please read it yourself if you are interested)